Saturday, May 21, 2011

Laban o Bawi?

Sabi niya... babawi raw siya... and I will be surprise.

(Yeah, right..)

But I still bought it.

For some reason, I did see him in my future... on some occasions that we were together... I kinda found myself saying... "Pwede, pwede naman"... Hence, I made my dreams simpler... I made my expectations lower, I made things easy... for him.

But now what? I don't know...

I'm still the same person... maybe more soulful - thanks to Bo Sanchez's blog...
But I still feel I am doing something wrong...

Why am I staying in this relationship?

Is it for me? Is it for him? Why, oh why?

I am 4 hours away by plane ride... we rarely communicate... I seldom miss him now... I don't know if he misses me... I don't know where our relationship is going... we are not sweet... he is not sweet with me... I really don't have any material thing to latch on... I don't have any unique sweet memories/ stories to share... I don't have any love letters to cry myself to sleep... but still I am torn.

Ironically torn.

In spite of the absence...

In spite of the lacking...

In spite of it all...

I think I am secured by the fact that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, even if another volcano erupts, or if he erupts, or if I erupt... I know I will still have him (kapal! hahaha)

or maybe because... I am still hoping that things will get better eventually... (hay!)

so... Laban o Bawi?

(Pera na lang! LOL! labo!)







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